The Funnelholic

I’ve been thinking about this topic for years. I originally used to hold that VPs of Sales were specifically like NBA coaches because of the flash and Armani suits. But there are some additional parallels that made me want to stretch the comparison to include coaches of all sports. Even though football coaches have traded in their ties for mock-ts …

1. They both get paid a lot of money: Have you seen the amount of money pro coaches are pulling in these days? Unreal. Although Sales VPs do not get Phil Jackson money, they are typically the highest paid members of the management team. The Phoneworks VP of Sales compensation survey is a favorite of mine, but to net it out: Average VP of Sales pay is $327K (as kids these days like to IM: OMG). The range? $134K to $669K (hello $699K). Read more here.

2. They get fired first when things go bad: I used to coach sports, so I always have had a soft spot in my heart for the “unfair” way coaches are treated. Then my old boss Stu Silverman told me: “Don’t’ feel sorry for guys who are making millions of bucks.” He’s right. Coaches get hired to be fired. When you make that much money, you have to produce. End of story. The only variable is how long you have to get it done, and since only one team wins the Super Bowl, there’s often a fairly short-term metric for success. Sales managers make more than their bosses’ bottom line and are paid to produce. If they don’t produce, the writing’s on the spreadsheet. I grabbed this from one of my favorite blogs – Jon Miller’s Modern B2B Marketing Blog.

Here is the average tenure for executives:
1. Mgr / VP of Sales: 19 months
2. CMO: 23 months
3. CIO: 36 months
4. CFOs: 39 months
5. CEOs: 44 months

3. Despite failures (and in some cases, numerous failures), they get another job: The key is to just get that first head coach job. It is typically the same for the VP of Sales, getting fired just means you will be working somewhere else in a couple months. And by the way, it’s not a bad thing. How many coaches bombed in one situation but thrived in another? (Bill Belichick in Cleveland = failure; Belicheck in New England = dynasty). VP of Sales roulette is played in Silicon Valley and across the country.

4. The “players” make a lot more money than the “coach.” It’s true. Early in my career, I was asking advice from one of the top sales reps at Rational Software. He said, “I have always made more than my boss.” My response — “What about the CEO?” The rep — “Who? Oh yeah, beating him is easy.” Phil Jackson makes $6 million. That guy Kobe Bryant who he needs to coach? 20 to 25 mill. That can’t be easy to swallow.

5. The ends justify the means. The New York Giants won the Super Bowl last year, despite their leader and star purposely skipping training camp for both more money and because, quite frankly, he just didn’t feel like going. Ever wonder why the VP of Sales can never get his guys to update Salesforce.com? Because their job is delivering the goods. If they miss inputting data or curse out everyone in the building, it goes with the territory.

6. The best ones are the biggest a**holes: Some of the best I have seen would make Bill Parcells and Bob Knight blush.

7. The best ones are worth the money: It’s true, but like sports franchises, you may go through three or four coaches before you find the right one, but when you get Bill Belichick, you pay him.